We live in a beast. You must teach your beast. You cannot just tell it what to do. It will flippantly ignore you. It will get what it wants. Regardless of all the thrashing and guilt that you impose upon it. It really doesn’t give a fuck about those things. And it is much stronger than you. If it thinks it needs heroine... it will get it. You are helpless against it. And if you ever fully concede your will to its strength. It will slay your will dead. With ease. All of you will become all of it. All of the best that you will only ever be, will be beast.
You secretly hate yourself because you hate what your beast does, and you think it’s you. You must love yourself. Enough to seize the power to overcome your beast. You must love your beast to teach it. You cannot understand a creature that you hate and you cannot teach a creature that you do not understand.
The beast you live in is of the wildest things upon this earth. And your will alone cannot tame it. You must love it and learn it and teach it. Your beast is supremely pragmatic and supremely powerful in its element. It hates the thought of your control over it as much as you hate the thought of its control over you. And if you never tame it, you will always fight it on its terms. It will always win. The greatest strength of your greatest will is only effective against it upon your will’s own battleground. The battleground of your will is Reason. You must train your beast to love what is best for it. Make it a student of the pain that gives it its most power. And it will soon understand.
Only through studied wisdom and the knowledge of its deepest desires do you have a chance. It is your very greatest enemy until you make it your very greatest friend. And no strength of mind can overcome its might... its only weakness to your will is its laziness. But that is not victory. Its strongest desires are the key. It will never want what you want unless you guide it into the understanding that what your will desires is what is best for it... for its own sake. The most strivent reaches to the human in you are the strongest against it... but never on its terms... only with supreme elegance and purpose and understanding and love toward it can you ever succeed. And then you can ride it. And it will be your greatest violence against your greatest enemies in this life.
No amount of Tony Robbins chest beating bullshit can do this. Only you can. And by your wisdom of will alone.
Because it is a wild thing. The wildest of all that is animal. For if you but let it, it has a human at its behest. Your ultimate humanity will never be realized without its brute ferocity... so when you do some day bring it 'round... in that place only, will you find that most wild and reckless and dangerous peace of which you’ve always dreamed.
See "DRAGON" - this is what that's about: https://www.theperfectfuckinglife.com/post/dragon-1